Slacking, confused and needing to get my stuff back together

I started Crossfit on April 13 of this year, and it truly is night and day in terms of my fitness. While I am still fat and much less fit than others in my 5:30 am class, I am a completely different person than I was less than 6 months ago.

But, unfortunately, I think I have fallen in to a “this is the best I can do/this is who I am” mindset. I dropped from 302, made it low as 255, and this morning was 259. That 259 is really disappointing to me.

It’s not a “the scale changes every day/don’t focus on the scale” issue. The 259 really is laziness and becoming slack about my efforts. In the beginning, I was religious about 50g of protein and a cup of veggies for every meal except for my post workout meals with 50g of cards instead of veggies. And then my two protein shakes/snacks a day in between meals. I was religious about recording those meals in the Sparkpeople food log.

I also had gotten to the point where I was making it to Crossfit 4, sometimes 5 days a week, then running a 6th day. I was kicking butt.

About 5-6 weeks ago, I found myself really starting to slack on recording the food. (I had slacked occasionally before, but with this, I would skip whole days instead of just missing a meal or two.) I also felt a bit entitled to eat some bad food. Not that I did not occasionally fit in bad foods in the first five months, but they were intentionally planned and accounted for. This became frequent.

And then, about three weeks ago, the head coach at Crossfit posted a video about the need for your muscles to recover – that you really shouldn’t be doing Crossfit more than 4 days a week (but you could do other exercises on “off” days).  I wish I hadn’t seen that video, because I think I used that as an excuse to cut back, I have gone to Crossfit three days a week for the past three weeks. And eating the same and more than before.

There’s that four pounds.

This is a “Know thyself” moment for me. Sure. For most people it may be better to recover a day between workouts, and maybe when I get to where I ultimately want to be, I can follow that general guidance. But, for someone who has fairly easily derailed in the past, I can’t do that.

If you told me I had to run a half marathon this afternoon, it wouldn’t be pretty, but I think I could do it, probably at a 14 minute pace. I now have the ability to do 5+ at just under 12 minute miles, but if I run, then walk, I don’t have the ability to run again. I’d have to stick that that one pace and I would finish.

I have to get back to what works for me. I now need the momentum to get back to five days a week and recording all of my food intake. 255 was not my end goal, and 259 is not where I want to be.

I need to get back on track.

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